


A Brother in Need

by aramisinaskirt (SilverMillennium_QueenNeptune)



Series: Musketeer March 2021 [12]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Aramis | René d'Herblay Angst, Brotherly Affection, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, Missing Scene, Musketeer March 2021, Out of Character, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Protective Athos | Comte de la Fère, Sad Aramis | René d'Herblay, Tumblr Prompt, post-episode: S01e09 Knight Takes Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 14:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30040353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMillennium_QueenNeptune/pseuds/aramisinaskirt
Summary: After protecting the Queen at Bourbon les Eaux, Aramis and Athos have a discussion and resolve that not everything that happened at the convent needs to be told.
Relationships: Aramis | René d'Herblay & Athos | Comte de la Fère
Series: Musketeer March 2021 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190600
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	A Brother in Need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [privateerwrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/privateerwrites/gifts), [under_my_blue_umbrella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_my_blue_umbrella/gifts).



> I'm still working to get a couple of prompts for this series up-- those will be backdated, please bear with me. As always, I'm using the prompt found [ here. ](https://privateerstudies.tumblr.com/post/643477557598142464/musketeer-march)

Aramis sighed gently and rubbed the back of his neck. He had just returned the queen from her stay in Borbon les Eaux, and he was carrying a secret with him. His mind was spinning with memories as he slipped back into the Garrison to find his brothers. Porthos clapped him on the shoulder.

“Fancy goin’ out for a drink? I think we’ve earned it.”

“You go ahead, Porthos. I’ll follow in a bit. I need to—I have things I need to do.”

“Awright, but you might be missing out!”, Porthos called. Pulling d’Artagnan along with him, he left the Garrison. Athos stepped over to Aramis with a frown on his face. Aramis knew what he was going to say: “You need to put the Queen out of your mind. Just because it happened this once, does not mean it should ever happen again.” Aramis could have said he wasn’t thinking clearly. He could have made any number of excuses. He turned around with a sigh, and found Athos standing in the door frame.

“I’m surprised you’re still here, my friend. Go. You have memories to bury in alcohol.”

“I also have brothers who need me, Aramis.” Athos gave him a smile. “So I take it I am the only one who has realized what happened between you and the Queen at the convent.”

“I thought you did not wish to know.”

“I don’t. But I still cannot help wondering what got into you. You know you could be hanged if the King finds out, and me with you.”

“Athos. Please do not make me rehash the entire sordid affair again. I feel bad enough as it is. I know she was never mine to claim, but I was not thinking of her as my Queen in the moment. I saw a woman who needed comfort and I was blinded by. . .”

“Love. You’ve loved her from afar for some time. I’m no fool. I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

“How much do the others really know about everything that happened at the convent? Not just what you saw—the whole affair.” Athos paused. He hadn’t thought about it much. He had given Treville a situation report, but he had only told what needed to be known about the attempted assassination of the Queen. The rest was mostly unnecessary to anyone who had not been there. No one who had not known her would care about the death of Sister Helene. He smiled and put a hand on Aramis’ back. He understood not wanting to relive the death of someone he once cared for as deeply as Aramis had cared for Sister Helene. He wanted to tell him that it would all be okay, that the wound would heal, but it was raw right now. It would be for some time, and nothing he could say would help it.

“They know nothing of your connection to Sister Helene. Not unless you say something about it.”

“Don’t tell Treville. I cannot go through all of that. I barely trust myself as it is. I—I never miss a shot like that, but. . . She was. . . I thought I could, well . . .”

“Aramis. Don’t.” For once, Athos looked pained. He hated seeing Aramis in such loathing and self doubt, but he understood it. He had been through it himself. The only way out was for him to process the agony in his soul.

“No. I—I caused it. She died because of me. I lost her twice.”

“You could not have known she would be in the line of fire. Her death was a regrettable accident. It was not your fault and you cannot shoulder that blame. It is too much guilt for one man to bear.”

“Then what do we do?”

“We meet the others. We have a drink. We toast to her memory.” It all sounded too simple to Aramis. It was a pain he was not prepared to face. He wanted to honor her memory, her faith and her dedication, but he wished she were still alive so that she could share in it with him. She should have been at his side and he knew it.

“Her Majesty helped me forget for a little while, Athos. We helped each other forget our pain. No amount of alcohol will ever wash that away. Sometimes the forbidden is beautiful. You know that better than anyone. Come on. The others are waiting. Oh, and I owe you a thanks. For all of this. For helping me see that I could not have predicted this.” Athos put his arm around Aramis’ shoulder. Normally he would not have done so, but his brother needed the reassurance. He knew what it was like to carry the weight of a bad decision, and he would stand by and do whatever it took to ease the pain. What was the harm in making sure that Treville did not know how personal this mission had become.

“Come on. Let’s go forget about today for a little while, hm?”

“Thank you, Athos. But there are some things about this day I will never forget.” It was true. He wouldn’t ever forget about Isabelle or how she had died, but perhaps in time he could forgive himself for the secrets he held, and for not trusting the rest of his brothers with them. But at least, for tonight, they were not his alone to bear. He had Athos at his side. Maybe, someday, he could find a way to tell Treville and the others exactly what had happened; about Isabelle and their history, about his love for the one woman he would likely never have because she was so far above him that he ached to even consider the possibility. Treville would probably thank him for not being bogged down in the mess of it all; a mess that even Aramis himself wanted to think about cleaning.

Maybe someday, those small regrets would fade. Until then, all Aramis needed were his brothers and his memories.


End file.
